As a parent, it’s crucial to establish guidelines early on and stick to them when it comes to enforcing them. I can still clearly recall as a child that I would attempt to take a mile if my mother gave me an inch, and this is a common trait among kids all over the world.
Children will always test the limits where they can, and sometimes it requires taking a firm stand to make them aware of what is and isn’t appropriate before it’s too late.
That was undoubtedly the case when a mother chose to write a letter to her son, who was then 13 years old. Since her son believed he was old enough to establish his own rules, Estella Havisham, as she is called on Facebook, believed he needed to learn about independence. She had no idea that her actions would make her famous.
Estella originally just wanted her friends to see her letter. She had no idea that the “public” viewing button on her Facebook account was still turned on, allowing the “adulting ain’t easy” letter to be broadcast with the entire world.
Estella warns her son, who is given the name “Aaron,” in the letter that he will suffer “more consequences” if he continues to treat her like a “doormat.” She continued by warning him that she would soon start piling on obligations, such as making him pay for his portion of the rent and food as well as any “maid services” she rendered, if he didn’t start acting like the 13-year-old boy he was.
An excerpt from the mother’s letter is provided below:
“Dear Aaron,
Since you seem to have forgotten that you are only 13 and I’m the parent, and that you won’t be controlled, I guess you will need to learn a lesson in independence. Also, as you threw in my face that you are making money now, it will be easier to buy back all the items I bought for you in the past. If you would like your lamp/lightbulbs or access to the internet, you will need to pay your share of costs: Rent: $430, Electricity: $116, Internet: $21, Food: $150.
Also you will need to empty the trash Mon, Wed & Friday as well as sweep and vacuum those days. You will need to keep your bathroom clean weekly, prepare your own meals and clean up after yourself. If you fail to do so I will charge you a $30 maid fee for every day I have to do it. If you decide you would rather be MY CHILD again instead of a roommate, we can negotiate terms.”
Naturally, Estella’s letter quickly became well-known online. On Facebook, it received more than 85,000 likes and 160,000 shares. In fact, there was so much discussion about it that Estella made the decision to make a second article outlining her initial motivation for sending the email.
“Why humiliate him in public? I’m not. An accident occurred. I intended to post to only my immediate family and friends, so yesterday I was perplexed as to why I had received over 100 friend requests. I honestly believed that my account had been compromised in some way. Yes, I could remove it, but by this time, so many people have already read and seen it.
It appears that Estella’s strategy was successful. Aaron now abides by the terms of their contract, which she now has!
Even though it generated a lot of discussion, who are we to tell Estella how to raise her child?
